Brief Thoughts On Making The Most Of Your Life
By Peter Atkins.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.
-From the movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
It’s often the most successful people I know who are most efficient with their time and who always seem to have time to think and to do more.
The trick is people who are most productive tend to say no to things that are unimportant to them and focus on what they believe matters.
I once had a smart boss who told me if I wanted to do my best work, I needed to do fewer things, and really focus on what mattered. That was great advice.
You can’t get more time, so how you spend the time you have is critical. Focusing on what matters means saying no to things that don’t matter. Otherwise, your life becomes cluttered with distractions.
The brain, however, doesn’t work that way; instead it focuses on one activity at a time. If you switch back and forth between multiple tasks, your brain works more slowly than it would if you focused on each activity for a period of time. Albert Einstein said: It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
Making space in your life by using time efficiently also helps nurture creativity. I find it interesting that people who tend to be the most creative have three things in common:
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- They’re incredibly well prepared in their fields–they become masters of their domains by practicing for many years, day after day.
- They spend time deeply focused on solving a key problem or key set of problems, no matter the obstacles.
- They allow themselves to step away from the problem( s) on which they’re focused, so that insights can come to them in activities such as walking, or looking out on a beautiful scene.
In taking walks these days, I try to notice the beauty around me; it helps me think and relax.
So to make the most of your life, say no to things that don’t matter, work hard at what you love, and occasionally take time away from your core focus to rest so that your mind can be quiet for great insights to come.
I try not to obsess on the past, but to learn from it. I try not to worry about the future, but to prepare for it. And while it’s difficult sometimes, I try to take pleasure in the moment, even when bad things happen.
The lesson to me is that you can focus on something going well, or something beautiful, or something interesting–even amidst terrible times.
I’ve also noticed it helps to accept the world as it is–not in the sense that you can’t change things but in the sense that you need to see reality clearly before you can take effective action.
For the problems you can impact and you want to alter, think about what you want to accomplish, and try to do that in a pragmatic way.
When you make mistakes along the way, as I have at many points in my life, accept them as well. I’ve tried to learn from my mistakes. They’re experience–and they’re the sort of experience you won’t soon forget.
As Winston Churchill said: Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
What you choose to do each day matters. Habits form when we’re young, and solidify before we know it. So forming the right habits early is critical, whether that means eating well, exercising, saving money or being honest.
Character, I’ve found, is one of the most important things in life. Reputations can be manipulated in the short term, but people tend to get the reputations they deserve over time. Reputations are your personal brand. They’re influential in how well you do in both your professional and personal lives.
Four basic principles that have worked well for me:
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- Do what you think is right. Don’t follow other people blindly. Be honest and keep your word. Admit your mistakes.
- If you live your life authentically, you’ll find people will trust you more over time, and you’ll become wiser too. care for yourself and others
- If you want to feel good, be as productive as possible, live longer, reduce stress, be more creative, and be happier then you need to exercise regularly.
- One small trick I’ve adopted is to try to eat dinner early. I’ve found that just doing that helps keep me at a healthy weight.
- Another critical element of taking care of yourself is getting a good amount of sleep on a regular basis. If you can manage to sleep well, you’ll find you have more energy and are able to think more clearly.
There’s some evidence suggesting that older people who keep their minds active have a much lower chance of getting Alzheimer’s disease. People who ’retire’ and mostly eat and lie on the couch, aren’t likely to live very long–or be very happy.
When you’re in your 80s, and looking back on your life, I have little doubt you’ll feel better if you have chosen to give something back. Our time on earth is limited, but you can extend your influence by helping those who will outlive you.
I’ve found you can choose to let all the things that go wrong in life depress you. Or, you can accept that things will go wrong, try to laugh, and then look at what you can do. There’s a Japanese proverb that gets right to the point: We’re fools whether we dance or not–so we might as well dance.
A sense of humor is also useful when you make mistakes.
Assuming your basic life needs are being met, you can choose to be happy if you want–even when you make mistakes, or are in the middle of some pretty awful circumstances. If, however, you’re the sort of person who chooses to be unhappy, or filled with anxiety, chances are you’ll probably succeed with that as well. In thinking about this, I keep Mark Twain in mind: The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Oliver Wendell Holmes noted: Many people die with their music still in them.
Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.
When I was growing up, someone told me to live as if I was going to die in ten years and had no immediate financial needs. That’s great advice. If you can do that, you’ll be happier and more successful.
To figure out what you want to do, you need to know yourself. Part of knowing yourself means acknowledging what you genuinely want. If you focus on what other people expect of you, you may impress your friends, family and colleagues, but it’s unlikely you’ll be satisfied with yourself over the long term. You need to understand your values and your priorities.
It’s quite possible to reinvent your career even late in life .
I took out a piece of paper, and listed those moments in my life I loved most . I tried to identify patterns. With that information, and a bit of research about various career options , I picked something which I thought would allow me to do what made me most happy . I also paid close attention, using the same method , to things I didn’t like to do , and worked hard to eliminate those things from my life .
You can use this system at any point in your career, but you may have to serve as an apprentice for several years early on doing less than fun things in order to learn the ropes . That’s just part of the journey – assuming you work with people you respect.
I developed a litmus test for job satisfaction that might resonate with you . When I was in a job I hated , I noticed on Sunday nights , or returning from vacations , I actually felt sick . Today , because my work and personal life are highly integrated , I work over the weekends – – but I feel just as excited Sunday night as I do on Friday afternoon .
Freud said : Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness . While it may sound simple, if you have close friendships and love your work , the odds are quite high that you’ll be happy most of the time .
It is not necessary to change . Survival is not mandatory . – W . Edwards Deming
Change will happen whether you like it or not . In fact , given technology’s evolution and globalization , there’s little doubt that the rate of change is accelerating . This can be disconcerting ; we tend to hate change . We prefer to know what will happen .
However , if you fight change you’ll usually lose – – and you’ll get worn down fighting it .
Alexander Graham Bell said : When one door closes , another door opens ; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door , that we do not see the ones which open for us .
The lesson I’ve learned is this : Since change is inevitable , the key is learning how to manage it . If you deal with issues immediately and don’t let them fester , they won’t become bigger and , ultimately , unmanageable . Problems are much easier to deal with when they’re still small than if you you’ve let them grow over time .
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results . – Albert Einstein
I know few people who regularly focus on learning from their own experience and the experience of others . I’ve noticed that if you are one of those few who try to learn every day , it makes a huge difference over long periods of time .
To understand the world , Judgment and wisdom matter a great deal . And both require experience and , really , failure . Unfortunately , few of us learn much from our successes .
Even if you make wise decisions throughout your life , you’ll inevitably make mistakes . In part , this is because life is not like a math problem with one perfect solution .
A lot of decisions are inherently probabilistic and the best you can do much of the time is make a decision that’s likely to turn out in your favor . In fact , the harder and more innovative things you try to accomplish , the more likely you are to fail . That’s just the reality .
So when decisions , ideas or new projects don’t work out , try to learn , and be open – minded .
It’s also useful to see if you can identify mistakes you’ve made even when things work out as well as, or better than you expect .
To learn from your experience and the experience of others it’s important to try to be dispassionate in looking at the world and analyzing it . You need to be willing to try things you think make sense , and then to admit your mistakes , to throw away your beloved theories , and to learn from other people .
This process requires a degree of humility that’s frequently lacking in the world , particularly among people who have been successful . As the 19th century humorist Josh Billings noted : It ain’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble , it’s what we know that just ain’t so .
I’m a great believer in luck , and I find the harder I work , the more I have of it . – Thomas Jefferson
Success in my experience requires the following elements :
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- A clear , stretch goal . If the goal is too easy , it won’t feel like an achievement ; if it’s unrealistic , you’ll never do the work .
- Love for what you’re doing .
- Very hard work , often over a long period of time .
- A sense of realism about the world , and your own limitations .you can’t boil the ocean . Nor can you make people come back from the dead .
- Flexibility and perseverance – – you’ll need to adapt to the curve balls life will throw at you . …
- And , often , a bit of luck .
People don’t tend to achieve things in great leaps forward . Rather , we progress one step at a time , usually with small insights here or there . Whether you’re a scientist who builds on the great work of others , or a writer whose work springs from the wisdom of writers before you ,
All of this is possible only because of small progressions from a massive foundation of wisdom and experience stretching into the distant past . We’re all standing , as Isaac Newton noted , on the shoulders of giants .
Similarly , to make changes in your life , focus on taking small steps in the right direction . Whether you want to change your health , your job , or your relationship , you can’t do it overnight . And you can’t become great at anything without a lot of repeated practice .
Be sure you’re comfortable with taking small steps , then build on them . The initial change will be small , and in the near term the difference may be imperceptible , but as time goes on you’ll end up in a totally different place than where you started .
Faced with a big challenge , you might get overwhelmed , or panic . You might even be afraid of succeeding . As a result , you might not even try . But you can overcome these mental traps by taking small – steps and practicing regularly .
It also helps to imagine your success . The mind is an amazing thing . If you focus your brain on success and you practice seriously , you’ll slowly build the deep confidence you need to persevere in life .
You’ll be ready for the obstacles the world throws at you – – or at least you’ll expect to encounter them . And , rather than panicking or freezing next time you face a challenge , you’ll continue to work toward your goals .
Over many years , this type of approach tends to build lasting progress and , ultimately , success .
If the field you enter is growing , your odds of success will be higher .
Persistent curiosity , combined with sustained focus on reasonable goals , will change your life over time . If you love what you do and work very hard , persevere , and take small steps , you likely will be in a dramatically different place ten years from now .
Life is short ! As Benjamin Franklin wrote : You may delay , but time will not.
